Most people picture the holidays from Thanksgiving to Christmas to New Year’s Eve like a Norman Rockwell painting — smiling families or collective couples gathered together to partake on holiday traditions filled with hugs, laughter and merriment. For many others living alone, their isolation compounds their sadness, making the holidays the loneliest time of the year.
That is true for many in the LGBTQ community who may have been deserted by family or the community at large who would not accept them as they are. There are some in the LGBTQ community who do not want to admit to others how bad their depression really is, preferring to fake it so as to be perceived as put together. They put on a show while at the office or the club, but come home to an empty house, feeling empty inside. They may choose to isolate after experiencing abuse, either verbal or physical, so they avoid others to avoid pain. These members of our LGBTQ community are vulnerable to substance abuse, self-harm, and suicide.
There are signs to look for in someone you know or even yourself, and services that will help.
If you know someone who has recently come out, congratulate them for their decision to embrace themselves and their new way of life. Be cognizant that they may have experienced rejection. Ask them. How did it go with family, friends, and/or coworkers? Ask if they experienced any rejection and/or harassment. Ask if they experienced abuse. If you notice a change in behavior from any LGBTQ friend, including those who have been out for a while, such as overeating, oversleeping, heavy drinking, or drug experimentation, they may be suffering from depression triggered by abuse they do not know how to confront.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) the results from a 2013 survey show that 40 percent of LGBTQ adults “have experienced rejection from a family member or a close friend. A 2019 school climate survey showed that 86 percent of LGBTQ youth reported being harassed or assaulted at school, which can significantly impact their mental health.”
NAMI also reports that LGB adults are almost “twice as likely as heterosexual adults to experience a substance use disorder. Transgenders are almost four times as likely as cisgender individuals to experience a substance use disorder.”
You can help. If it is you, you can recover.
If it is someone you know, earn their trust by stating openly that as a LGBTQ person yourself, you know what they are going through. If you have experienced the same or similar trauma, share your experience so they know they are not alone, and more importantly, that they can be helped.
Once they feel confident that there is a solution, help them find the right mental health professional. If it is you, having read this far says you are ready. Keep going — you got this! Seek someone who specializes in the trauma that is causing the problem. Do research. Gather referrals. Inquire at local LGBTQ community centers, local LGBTQ health centers, LGBTQ community groups like equality groups and social organizations. Don’t discount affirming places of worship such as Metropolitan Community Church (MCC). They have affiliates nationwide and worldwide.
Here is a list of resources that can help.
CenterLink LGBT Community Center Member Directory
The American Psychological Association (APA)
Provides educational and support resources on a range of LGBTQ topics.
The Association of Gay and Lesbian Psychiatrists
Offers many resources for LGBT individuals experiencing mental health conditions and psychiatric professionals with LGBT clients.
The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association's Provider Directory
A search tool that can locate a LGBTQ-inclusive health care provider.
The LGBT National Help Center
Offers confidential peer support connections for LGBT youth, adults and seniors, including phone, text and online chat.
The National Center for Transgender Equality
Offers resources for transgender individuals, including information on the right to access health care.
The Trevor Project
A support network for LGBTQ youth providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention, including a 24-hour text line (text “START” to 678678).
SAGE National LGBT Elder Hotline
Society for Sexual, Affectional, Intersex, and Gender Expansive Identities (SAIGE)
Delivers educational and support resources for LGBTQ individuals, as well as promotes competency on LGBTQ issues for counseling professionals.
TheLGBTQ+ Guide to Online Safety
